Writing an apology email to an old friend of mine but I don't know if it's good enough. Can anyone give me advice?

Hey Marissa,
Hi Marissa!
Hello Marissa,
Hi!
Hello?

It's Kitty, but I go by Cat now. I don't know if you remember me, and if you do you'll probably delete this email before reading it. But I hope you read it.

You're probably wondering how I found your email. Long story short, I got curious one night and looked you up on facebook to see how you were doing. Creepy? Yeah, but your email was right there for everyone to see. If anything, please take this email as a sign to change your privacy settings.

Why was I looking you up on facebook? I was feeling nostalgic. I still hold the time we spent together very dearly to me. You're completely in the right to disagree though.

I remember the first time we spoke to eachother during that scavenger hunt field trip. I remember how we listened to the CD player I brought for the bus and attempted to mash the songs together. I remember inviting you to the drive-in to watch Garfield with my family. I never told you that was my first time there. I remember our countless sleepovers at your house because your family let us cuss while my family banned anything "spiritually poisonous." I never told you that was the reason but yeah.

There was that one day we went to the Enchanted Forest and we held hands. You probably didn't think anything of it. To tell the truth, I HATED holding hands with anyone. My parents would tell me to hold my siblings hands in pictures and I'd either refuse or let them take the picture with me looking absolutely disgusted. I laugh at that fact now but I still hate looking at those photos. It was a clear attempt by my family to look more human. I think there's something wrong with me that made me averse to being human. But I didn't feel that way with you. I felt human with you. I felt like I belonged in this world with you. I never felt that way before I met you.

I remember when you moved away. There was no tearful goodbye because you gave me your email. I didn't use it often because, well, it was email. Email's kind of boring and formal to a kid. But I was still happy I could talk to you any time at any place. I remember the sparks in my brain from when you told me you were coming back to visit your mom. It felt like someone else was grabbing the corners of my mouth and dragging them up with how big I smiled at that.

But you probably don't want to hear (read?) that.

Again, while I remember our time together fondly, you have every right to hate me. You have every right to be scared of me. What I did that day was fucking horrible and I don't even get why I did it. You did nothing wrong, I wasn't mad at you, I don't understand why I bit you. You were my best friend and I loved you but I still bit you. I bit you and I fucking drew blood. You saw my ears, my claws, my fangs, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I tried so hard to hide them but I couldn't. I'm sorry.

I guess the real purpose of this message is to let you know I live with that regret every day of my life. I can't let anyone get too close to me because I know it will happen again. Relationships terrify me and I am going to die alone. If you take pleasure in knowing this, then I'm glad.

Do what you want with this email. Disregard it. Print it out and burn it in a dumpster fire. But… if you are somehow possessed or compelled to reach out to me, then please reply.

I miss you.

Sincerely,
Cat